I put one post up on Friday looking for a contract IT worker, and here are snippets from the 44 replies I got back:

"We are confident of assist you as a partner"
- I will not hire anyone who can't pass Grade 12 English.

"...I charge a flat fee for a liscence to the cms, and $40/hr for doing customizations (the customization possibilities are endless). "
- Unfortunately, my budget is not endless.

"I wanted to introduce our services to you, perhaps you may find us financially relieving" (from Santa Monica)
- Thats a new term.

"...to ensure the work we do is at par with global quality standards." (China based)
- Can someone point me towards a list of these standards?

"Hello . have you ever checked out (Company name) web services . "
- That was the entire email. Thanks for putting in the effort.

"Scincerely, The Tech Contract Out group."
- They quoted 2X the rate of the next highest. And spelled it "pay-pall". Terrible company name.

"My background/resume: http://www.xxxxxxx.net
There is enough bluriage on it, as it is. ;-)"
- If anything, I learned a new word today.

"Hello, I am John, and I am looking for a way to earn extra income at home
for upcoming marriage."
- Does this mean after you get married, I won't be able to reach you?

All hope is not lost, I'm currently short listing the 16 that passed the initial skim-for-crap filter.

Labels: web jobs resume